words in movies
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Phoebe: (returning with Joey) With what?
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Monica: Phoebe, were getting married, married; not sixth grade married.
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Phoebe: What?! No! It was my idea!
(Phoebe enters slowly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Phoebe: Oh my God, youve got to stop chattering!
Phoebe: What is it?
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Phoebe: Oh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)
Monica: No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff.
Phoebe: Say what?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Phoebe: Okay, then I must be disoriented.
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Phoebe: Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! (Holds up the warning label.)
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
Phoebe: Watching ballroom dancing?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
[Scene: Hospital. Phoebe is there stroking Coma Guy's hair, when Monica enters with a bunch of balloons.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
Jack: (approaches her) Phoebe, listen
Phoebe: So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I love it!!
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God Ross!!
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Phoebe: Oh hi!
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Phoebe: Of course!
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Phoebe: Ohh, uh-huh so much!
Phoebe: No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. (She stays still for a brief second.)
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Phoebe: What kind of an emergency?
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Well
Phoebe: Okay. (Does so.)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Swear?!
Phoebe: You wont let go?
Phoebe: (thinks it over) Okay.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore!
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Ross: Phoebe.
Phoebe: What?! Why?!
Phoebe: (seeing him) Oh, hello liar.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are admiring Monicas wedding dress.]
Phoebe: Im sorry. Im sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didnt go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, it's my mom's.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh, hey, you guys!
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Phoebe: Yeah, why not?
Phoebe: You're sure? You're absolutely sure?
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, ooh, oohoh, I have a game!
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
Phoebe: (at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
PHOEBE: You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Phoebe: No spark? Didnt you sleep together?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
Phoebe: Maybe on some level.
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Phoebe: Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge.
Phoebe: Our apartment is ready.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Hm?
Phoebe: (nods along) Fish!
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Phoebe: Yay, okay!
Phoebe: We did have fun, didn't we?
Phoebe: Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?
Phoebe: I love the license plate game!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: (entering with Erin) Oh. Hey!
Phoebe: A little bit, yeah.
Phoebe: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh me too.
Phoebe: Hi Paul!
Phoebe: No, I do not hear that.
Phoebe: You heard her too?! You have the gift!
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
Phoebe: I know. Have you considered pageanting?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?