words in movies
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Phoebe: (returning with Joey) With what?
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Monica: Phoebe, were getting married, married; not sixth grade married.
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Phoebe: What?! No! It was my idea!
(Phoebe enters slowly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Phoebe: Oh my God, youve got to stop chattering!
Phoebe: What is it?
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Phoebe: Oh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)
Monica: No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff.
Phoebe: Say what?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Phoebe: Okay, then I must be disoriented.
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Phoebe: Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! (Holds up the warning label.)
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'.
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe Sr: What?!
Phoebe Sr: What are you doing here?!
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe Sr: Then don't break in!!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Phoebe: Ehh?
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!
Phoebe Sr.: Well, the-the three of us we were, kind of umm, a couple.
Phoebe: Okay. (watches him leave)
Phoebe Sr.: Well, we were...
Phoebe: How close?
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe: I dont ever want to see you again!
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host.
Phoebe: You never run on a barge!
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
(Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Phoebe: (running through the door) No! Oh! Youre alive! Youre alive!
Phoebe: Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Phoebe: Okay, well umm, I know that we havent talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom.
Phoebe: (shocked) You know her?!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: I, umm, shut up!
(Phoebe enters.)
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
[Phoebe enters all dressed up]
Phoebe: Whatcha doin'?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe Sr.: Yeah, I guess youre right.
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Phoebe Sr.: I knew it, wow!!
Phoebe: I-I like pizza!
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
Phoebe Sr.: Hey! Me too!
Phoebe: Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. (The lady opens up her hand.) Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. (She throws the lint away.) What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! (The lady walks away.)
Phoebe: Noooo!!
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: How can you not know which one?
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: So, Im here, ready to play.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
Phoebe: Oh, mon Dieu!
Phoebe: No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Phoebe Sr.: Ohh, so cute.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Well, I dont think Monica is gonna take this away.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
Phoebe: Okay.