words in movies
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Phoebe: Why??
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
Phoebe: I want you to stay.
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou...
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Phoebe: I'll miss you.
Phoebe: Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top.
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news.
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Phoebe: Okay, well you put down the toilet seat.
Phoebe: Uh huh...we're playing you two.
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Ross: Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Phoebe: Yeah! You bet roomy!
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Phoebe: China patterns!!!!!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are packing stuff.]
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Phoebe: Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Phoebe: But it's just...
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: Yeah I get that.
[Scene:Ross's apartment. Phoebe is at the door.]
Phoebe: Hi
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
Phoebe: Never.
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Phoebe: That's not how you really feel is it?
Phoebe: Seriously? You divorce-o?
Phoebe: It's ok that's how you feel.
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Phoebe: Better.
Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Phoebe: Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all?
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Phoebe: Someday.
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours?
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Phoebe: I don't want it to end either.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
Chandler: Nope! Because Im not your boyfriend. (to Phoebe, whos entering) Hey Pheebs, how did it go?
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
PHOEBE: Ok. One.
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
PHOEBE: Sure.
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
PHOEBE: Thinkin' about it.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Phoebe: You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'
PHOEBE: Oooh.� Let's do.� Let's send them mashed potatoes.
PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves]
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
PHOEBE: Hey cool, mine too.
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
PHOEBE: Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
PHOEBE: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Ahh.
Monica and Phoebe: Ewww!
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Phoebe: Should we do something?
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
PHOEBE: Here we go.
PHOEBE: You're not going?
PHOEBE: Stick a fork what?
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Phoebe: Right- where we've been looking all night!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)