words in movies
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
Phoebe: Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.
Phoebe: (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, lets skedaddle.
Phoebe: Okay, your highness.
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
Monica and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
Phoebe: Ohhh boy, do I feel bad.
Phoebe: Chandler what are you doing?!
Phoebe: Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?
Phoebe: Him? Him, Ross?
Phoebe: Wait. Really?! Cause mine get me out of tickets.
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Phoebe: Chandler!!
Phoebe: What does the sign say?
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
Phoebe: Please!
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Phoebe: All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine.
Phoebe: (finishing removing her bra) Okay, there.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Phoebe: Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Phoebe: But if...
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Phoebe: I ate a bug.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Phoebe: Yes, please.
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey: No, I wasnt gonna ask you that, no.
Phoebe: Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here.
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
Phoebe: Or, or the rodeo!!
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Bye!!!
Maitre D�: Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? (she turns again) Miss!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right?
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: No Im serious. I mean Im intuitive, but my memory sucks.
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Phoebe: (sings) What I said you had...
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that!
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Phoebe: Yeah, it's beautiful.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Phoebe: Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us?
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Phoebe: I dont know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme?
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Phoebe: Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous!
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.
Phoebe: Huh!
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: No, I'm fine.
Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen!
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.
Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: And-and a power tie?
Phoebe: Did he mention us?
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
Phoebe: (screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: There he is! There he is!
Phoebe: A couple hours.