words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Phoebe: Umm, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
PHOEBE: Ok, thanks. Sorry, again
PHOEBE: [innocently] What was that?
Phoebe: (Sung)
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey.
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
PHOEBE: So talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, God bless us, everyone.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: Wow.
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
PHOEBE: Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Ok.
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
Phoebe: It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors.
PHOEBE: Yeah, that'd be ok.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
PHOEBE: Hey nice boobs.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
PHOEBE: Why not her?
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, well, ya know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Wooo.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
MONICA: Phoebe.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Phoebe: Alright, well, maybe now its not okay.
Phoebe: So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
Phoebe: Well, I never call me.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
Phoebe: Im just saying hi! Now Im gonna go!
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
PHOEBE: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
PHOEBE: Ahh. OK, let's see yours again.
Phoebe: Wh-why is that the best part?
PHOEBE: Come in.
PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: Give it.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
PHOEBE: What?
PHOEBE: Oh.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
PHOEBE and RYAN: Bye. [waving]
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
PHOEBE: All right, stop it, you're freaking me out.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?