words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Phoebe: No, not a thing.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: You should be!
Phoebe: You got it!
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Phoebe: Intense and creepy.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Phoebe: Mhm... it's moist.
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Phoebe: This is so great.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Phoebe: That oughta do it.
Phoebe: Lotsa things.
Phoebe: (entering, carrying two garbage bags) Hey!
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Phoebe: Oh, look, he's got Ross's haircut!
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Phoebe: Hey.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
Phoebe: How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?
Phoebe: Oh, let me see! (takes the picture)
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Remembered what?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Phoebe: My mother killed herself.
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Monica and Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: How many beeps?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monicas just gonna kill you.
[Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.]
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Maybe there's someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
(Phoebe nods as he stands up in delight.)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Phoebe: Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Mrs. Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Phoebe: Oh, but I can't do that-
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Phoebe: Where?
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?
Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done.
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Phoebe: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Phoebe: Ben, dinner!
Phoebe: I licked my arm, what?
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey. (Phoebe sees his bags)
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.