words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Phoebe: No, not a thing.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: You should be!
Phoebe: You got it!
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
PHOEBE: Okey-doke.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
Phoebe: So you guysll stay here and hang out with me?
Phoebe: Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Phoebe: Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Gary: Wait! Hold on! (He goes over to Phoebe and gives her a kiss.) (To Phoebe) Hi!
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im with a client right now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know.
Maitre D�: Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? (she turns again) Miss!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right?
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: No Im serious. I mean Im intuitive, but my memory sucks.
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Phoebe: (sings) What I said you had...
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that!
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Phoebe: Yeah, it's beautiful.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Phoebe: Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us?
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Phoebe: I dont know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme?
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Phoebe: Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous!
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.
Phoebe: Huh!
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: No, I'm fine.
Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen!
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thanks.
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)