words in movies
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Phoebe: Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Umm, she said shed be back December 26th.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
Phoebe: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Phoebe: What?!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Phoebe: Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Phoebe: How did that happen?!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! Were done!
Phoebe: Oh my God, are you guys okay?
Phoebe: Oh my God, they took my idea!
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Phoebe: Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, Im just gonna need a small deposit.
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
PHOEBE: Right. My name was on there, but now it just says "carrot cake". So, um, so um, how many chords do you know?
Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul?
PHOEBE: Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Phoebe: Well, maybe its so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Phoebe: Hi! Wish me luck!
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.
Phoebe: Yeah, umm thats Whitney (Points), Kyles ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can yknow divert her so that we can slip out?
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Monica: I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: All right, so let's switch.
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Phoebe: Ooh, I have to tell you something.
Phoebe: But I cant tell you.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: No.
PHOEBE: Huuh.
PHOEBE: Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Phoebe: I cant!! I cant!! (She dies.) Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: I cant!!
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Phoebe: Oh my god! Where are you? (Looks around.)
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thanks!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
(Phoebe starts to hang up the phone, but )
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr� should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.
Phoebe: Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? (He smiles at her.) OH!! Demon!! Demon!!
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
Phoebe: I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?
Phoebe: Ive never been more convinced of your love for her.
Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)
Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Phoebe: All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Phoebe: I do, I believe you.
Phoebe: Hummus. I got the hummus.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Phoebe: Oh, Jason? Yeah, uh-huh, we're seeing each other tonight.
Phoebe: Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (stopping him) No! No!
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Phoebe: (disgusted) Uh.
Phoebe: Yeah.
PHOEBE: No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) This place is amazing.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Phoebe: (running after him) Wait-wait-wait! Wait!!
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?
Phoebe: Nah-ha!
Phoebe: Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!
Rachel: Fine! Well ask Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Phoebe: Hey!