words in movies
[Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is watching a rabbi play an electric guitar on TV. Phoebe enters.]
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
Phoebe: Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this!
Phoebe: I know! I know! I know!
Phoebe: Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Phoebe: Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) We do?
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Phoebe: Estelle? Why?
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Phoebe: I know what time you said.
Phoebe: Thanks! So are you.
Phoebe: (Turning around in the chair) Hi!
Phoebe: Thats right.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
Rachel: Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But yknow you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare?
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: (dejected) Hi, you guys.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!
Phoebe: Yeah, Im a big surprise.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
Phoebe: Hey, and then lunch.
PHOEBE: Actually, it makes us feel that big.
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Phoebe: Dont even get me started on yours!
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont have anyone right now. Yknow?
Monica: Phoebe, that stuff is
Phoebe: Me too!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) Its exactly how Id imagined it would be.
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: No! Why?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Phoebe: Rachel said that!
Phoebe: What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: Well, we should go.
Phoebe: Well, what did he do?
Phoebe: Joey!
Phoebe: Okay, maybe ask this guy.
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: (trying to hold back the struggling cat) He seems to hate you. Are you sure?
[Scene: Central Perk, Sergei is teaching Phoebe how to sing American Pie, by Don Maclean.]
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Phoebe: You told me.
Phoebe: Yeah, coffeehouse.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Watch this.
Paul: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay thats so generous!
Phoebe: Well then I think thats it.
Phoebe: Yeah! That was so weird, huh?
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Phoebe Sr.: You do?! Wait, I like umm, the Beetles.
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Phoebe: I would love it if I weren't here!