words in movies
(Rachel enters)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Rachel: Oh, Im so sorry.
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Okay.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, you needed to speak to me?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: Hi-e!!
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Rachel: Hmm-mmm.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Rachel: No. Have you?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no.
Rachel: Really?! You think that will work?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Rachel: Great.
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Yeah-eah-ha!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Basketball!
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Rachel: Really?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!
RACHEL: Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok.
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Rachel: I know...
Rachel: Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Rachel: (through wall) Ooh... I love Barbados!
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
Rachel: Come on! I dont want you thinking of me like that any more!
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)
Rachel: Oh, right, that's me!
Rachel: Pheebs!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
(Rachel walks away)
(Rachel runs over)
Rachel: "Ooo," what?
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Well, sure...just a sec, though, 'cause Paolo's on his way over.
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs...
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
(Rachel looks stunned)
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Rachel: OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?
Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Rachel: Ok, Ok, Pheebs...
Rachel: Oh, God...
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: (walks up with a pot of coffee) Would anybody like more coffee?
Rachel: Oh, Ross...
Rachel: Oh...
Rachel: Ooh, I've been better...
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great!
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Rachel: What? What?!
Rachel: Oh!!
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
Rachel: No.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Rachel: Shut up!
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Rachel: Ohh were not sailing.
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel.
Rachel: Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend.
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Rachel: We're sorry.
RACHEL: That's not the end.
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Rachel: Monica! I couldnt find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!
Rachel: Wow.
Rachel: Kinda hurtin my hand though.
Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
Rachel: Oh, God, he's such a pig,
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Rachel: What happened?
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Rachel: Do what, do what?
Rachel: Alright, c'mon! (Miserably) Let's play Twister!
Rachel: Well, you were pretty damn good.
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table.
Rachel: Or?
Rachel: Tommyyyy! Say, whats your favourite thing about summer?