words in movies
(Rachel enters)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Rachel: Oh, Im so sorry.
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Okay.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, you needed to speak to me?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: Hi-e!!
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Rachel: Hmm-mmm.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Rachel: No. Have you?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no.
Rachel: Really?! You think that will work?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Rachel: Great.
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Yeah-eah-ha!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Basketball!
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Rachel: Really?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
RACHEL: Ok, we never shoulda talked about this.
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
RACHEL: Not at all inappropriate!
RACHEL: Really?
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
RACHEL: Well?
RACHEL: I guess.
Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying?
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
RACHEL: Thank you.
RACHEL: I didn't know that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Ugh, Monica I dont want to steal your stupid thunder!
Rachel: All right let me see. (grabs the card) Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel?
RACHEL: Hey, nice toilet.
RACHEL: Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
RACHEL: What's goin' on?
Rachel: Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
RACHEL: [sarcastically] I've never wanted you more.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
TERRY: Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute?
RACHEL: Fine, I will.
[Phoebe walks up to Rachel, cleaning tables.]
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Well I love you too.
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Rachel: Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? (Laughs) Good luck, Rach.
RACHEL: Yes it is.
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Rachel: What, what, wait a minute! You haven�t even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, likean hour?
RACHEL: Well you better.
Rachel: Yknow what? No. Its not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Rachel: I will not! Im the divisional head of mens sportswear!
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey's home alone, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when Chandler enters.]
RACHEL: Oh my God.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.
RACHEL: Would you guys stop.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
PHOEBE: Rachel.
Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
RACHEL: So what happens next?
Rachel: I still dont get how you know when its false labour.
RACHEL: Great set tonight Phoebs.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
Rachel: Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I dont like guys with boring jobs.
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
RACHEL: Pie in the hood, pie in the hood. Go.
Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
RACHEL: Well, there's you.
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Rachel: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.
RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Rachel: Maybe. I-I don't knowOh God, how could I be so stupid?!
RACHEL: Oh my God, honey that's great.
RACHEL: Oh, hi.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
RACHEL: Rock-paper-scissors?
Rachel: Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
RACHEL: Honey.
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
RACHEL: Oh good.
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
RACHEL: Joey.
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.