words in movies
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
[Rachel enters with a laundry basket]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
RACHEL: What, what incident?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
RACHEL: No, no, ACC-cept that.
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
RACHEL: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
RACHEL: Oh my God.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
RACHEL: Oh my God, look there's Roy Gublik.
RACHEL: Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet?
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Rachel: Yknow, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. (walks into living room)
Rachel: Okay, a thousand.
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. (Hands over the pillow.)
Rachel: Yeah, 15 hundred dollars.
(Rachel goes into the bathroom as the guys continue throwing the ball.)
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Sure! (Pause) God, please take those off!
Rachel: What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: So were done then!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
Rachel: Okay.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Okay. Okay!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Rachel: Damn!
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Rachel: Bye you guys!
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: All right!
Ross: Okay. So well Ill umm, (To Rachel) Ill have her home by midnight.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (thinks) Four.
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Rachel: Give it here. (She takes the table.) Oh, God. (And gives it to Monica right away.)
Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-Iwould youactually, would you go check on that?
Rachel: Yep!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey!
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Rachel: Oh okay, hey guys, would you flip mine too?
Rachel: Career counselor?
(Monica and Rachel enter breathless.)
Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Rachel: That sounds great.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure?
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Phoebe: Okay, Rachel, get me perfume!
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.