words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Rachel: (under her breath) Sucker!
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Rachel: Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work.
Rachel: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Rachel: That sounds great.
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Rachel: Uh, yeah, if you want too.
Rachel: Yeah, sure?
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Rachel: Yes of course, absolutely! You're right. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?"
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Rachel: I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm done.
Rachel: No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times.
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right?
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Rachel: Ross! What are you I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
[Time lapse, Rachel pushes the flight attendant call button, takes Ross's drink, and spills it into his lap.]
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
The Flight Attendant: (To Rachel) Thank you! (Not sure of herself) Enjoy your flight?
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Rachel: Ahh.
(A young boy sees Rachel, points, and starts laughing.)
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Phoebe: (sees Ross and Rachel) Hey!
Rachel: Hi! (Hugs Phoebe)
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Rachel: Pancho Vila?
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Rachel: It won't come off!
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Rachel: Hi!!
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: What?! What else did he say?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Rachel: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Rachel: Ross, I am a human doodle!!
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Rachel: Okay, I need a, I need a drink! (Makes a beeline for the mini-bar.)
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
Rachel: Hm-mmm! (Opens the container)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Rachel: Hit me!
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Rachel: I bet 20.
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Rachel: Ohhh!!
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Rachel: Good luck to ya!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
Ross and Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
Rachel: C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Wow... Wow!
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Leslie: (looking around) Rachel?
Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?
(Pause as Rachel realises...)
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
(Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Oh, do I?
Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.
Rachel: Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!
Rachel: Get down?
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Rachel: (looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?
Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...
Rachel: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!
Rachel: God how long do you think thats gonna last?
Rachel: Okay, Ill see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Rachel: Sure we should... So.
Rachel: Hey, you.... So, what's up?
Rachel: Mindy.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
Rachel: Oh sure it is!
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?
Rachel: Oh no, I cant. I got a date.
Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
Rachel: Hey. Got a second?
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Rachel: Oh God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Rachel: You don't know?!
Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (Yawning) Nooo...
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Rachel: What does she mean?
Rachel: Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Rachel: She could be you.
Rachel: That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!
Rachel: What? You just click when they click.
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Rachel: (picks up the phone and calls Ross) Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, youre not home.
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: (laughs) You know what?
Rachel: No, forget it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Rachel: There were times when it wasn't even me.
(Monica stares at Rachel)
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Ethan called again.
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: True story.
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book!
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Rachel: Rossy, Rossy.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?