words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Rachel: (under her breath) Sucker!
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Rachel: Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work.
Rachel: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Rachel: That sounds great.
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Rachel: Uh, yeah, if you want too.
Rachel: Yeah, sure?
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Rachel: Yes of course, absolutely! You're right. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?"
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Rachel: I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm done.
Rachel: No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times.
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right?
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Rachel: Ross! What are you I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
[Time lapse, Rachel pushes the flight attendant call button, takes Ross's drink, and spills it into his lap.]
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
The Flight Attendant: (To Rachel) Thank you! (Not sure of herself) Enjoy your flight?
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Rachel: Ahh.
(A young boy sees Rachel, points, and starts laughing.)
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Phoebe: (sees Ross and Rachel) Hey!
Rachel: Hi! (Hugs Phoebe)
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Rachel: Pancho Vila?
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Rachel: It won't come off!
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Rachel: Hi!!
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: What?! What else did he say?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Rachel: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Rachel: Ross, I am a human doodle!!
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Rachel: Okay, I need a, I need a drink! (Makes a beeline for the mini-bar.)
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
Rachel: Hm-mmm! (Opens the container)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Rachel: Hit me!
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Rachel: I bet 20.
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Rachel: Ohhh!!
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Rachel: Good luck to ya!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
Ross and Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
Rachel: Well where's Amanda?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: Sorry.
Rachel: Y'know...
Rachel: (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.
Rachel: You are soo enjoying this.
Rachel: No! Come on! Dont make me go long. Use me. They never cover me.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: No!
Rachel: Okay. (listens) Okay, daddy well see you tomorrow night. (listens) Okay bye-bye. (hangs up)
Rachel: (really confused) Okay.
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Rachel: (confused) Okay.
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Rachel: Throw in the duck too!
Rachel: Were the Cobras!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
Rachel: Oh, honey, that's so sweet.
Rachel: Oh my God! What happened?
Rachel: Oh, making it worse!
Rachel: Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Ross: Yeah. (closes the door, and goes over and kisses Rachel.)
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Rachel: Well, he gets the other one all riled up.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Rachel: How come you didn't come over earlier?
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
Rachel: No....
Rachel: Yes! Rent!
Rachel: What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, please, miss, you don't understand!
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Rachel: Any luck?
Rachel: Aw, honey, that's so sweet.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
RACHEL: So don't do it.
Rachel: Thanks!
Ross: Would you excuse us for a second? (Pulls Rachel off to the side) Umm . what are you doing?
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Rachel: No?
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
Rachel: You give me back my Walkman!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Rachel: Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)
RACHEL: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
Rachel: Why not?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
Rachel: Yeah, Phoebe youre awful!
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Mark: It's okay, Rachel knows.
Rachel: Ill get the hat.
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Rachel: I know, I remember that!
Rachel: Because you do.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City.
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, you should play in public!
Rachel: What?
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Rachel: Does it hurt?
Rachel: You shouldnt.
Rachel: (standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here!
Rachel: Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go?
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]
Rachel: Yes, and grumpy.
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Chandler: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.
Rachel: Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Rachel: All right!
Rachel: Is he okay in there?
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)