words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Rachel: (under her breath) Sucker!
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Rachel: Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work.
Rachel: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Rachel: That sounds great.
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Rachel: Uh, yeah, if you want too.
Rachel: Yeah, sure?
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Rachel: Yes of course, absolutely! You're right. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?"
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Rachel: I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm done.
Rachel: No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times.
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right?
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Rachel: Ross! What are you I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
[Time lapse, Rachel pushes the flight attendant call button, takes Ross's drink, and spills it into his lap.]
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
The Flight Attendant: (To Rachel) Thank you! (Not sure of herself) Enjoy your flight?
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Rachel: Ahh.
(A young boy sees Rachel, points, and starts laughing.)
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Phoebe: (sees Ross and Rachel) Hey!
Rachel: Hi! (Hugs Phoebe)
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Rachel: Pancho Vila?
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Rachel: It won't come off!
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Rachel: Hi!!
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: What?! What else did he say?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Rachel: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Rachel: Ross, I am a human doodle!!
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Rachel: Okay, I need a, I need a drink! (Makes a beeline for the mini-bar.)
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
Rachel: Hm-mmm! (Opens the container)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Rachel: Hit me!
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Rachel: I bet 20.
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Rachel: Ohhh!!
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Rachel: Good luck to ya!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
Ross and Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
Rachel: Me too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Hypothetically!
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Rachel: Fine!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Really?!
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Rachel: Hey Joey, what cha doing?
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Rachel: Im gonna marry someone good yknow.
Rachel: I mean it's my fault.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
Rachel: How come you are?!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Rachel: Okay, uh
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Oh!
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Rachel: Well, I brought the next best thing.
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
Rachel: Aw, thanks!
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Rachel: Oh, make it stop!
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Hi Pheebs.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Yknow, all the women.
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?!
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I know!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Rachel: Bye!
Rachel: Cupid.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Rachel: Im sorry?
Rachel: Noooooooo!!
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Rachel: Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?
Erin: Hey Rachel.
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready?
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Rachel: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
Rachel: Yeah, see ya.
Rachel: Ugh, tramp!
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah.
Rachel: Joey
Rachel: Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
RACHEL: Ye-, no, my Uncle Hi.