words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Rachel: Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.
Rachel: Well theres an idea!!
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Rachel: December 26th, huh maybe shes Santa Clause.
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Rachel: I dont wanna hear "Three failed marriages!"
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Rachel: Ugh! (Stares at him.)
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Rachel: Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.
Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.
Rachel: Well, you would know.
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Rachel: Ugh!
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think.
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: This is totally your fault!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Rachel: Dont call us that! (Storms away)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Rachel: Oh, little Xs! Great! That makes up for everything!
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Rachel: Nothing. (Sits down.)
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Rachel: Well, yknow this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.
Rachel: Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Rachel: Yeah, dont push it though.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Rachel: Im gonna need a copy of those.
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Rachel and Monica: Nooo!
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
Rachel: Yeah, umm, no honey.
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Monica: Rachel always cries!
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Joey, did you my face cream?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Joey: Well he made Rachel cry!
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
Rachel: Like what?
Rachel: Oh God. Im sorry about this.
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Rachel: (entering) Hi, guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah! I know.
Rachel: (interrupting) Oh my God! My dog died!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
[Rachel and Phoebe enter]
Rachel: It's Le Poo.
Rachel: What's going on?
RACHEL: I had a wedding.
Rachel: What?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Rachel: Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?
Rachel: Sorry. Sorry.
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Okay, what's up?
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Rachel: Oh hi!
Rachel: Storming out!
Rachel: Yeah, well that's how mad I am!!
Rachel: Oh I know, my God, this is sothis rice is soI am so good.
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: That's not Ross!
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
RACHEL: Not uh, not to my recollection.
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Rachel: And all these people actually died?
Rachel: All right, cut, lets pick again, pick again.
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Rachel: Oh, Ross
(Door buzzer goes off. Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Rachel: No, God! Please, let me! (Runs out.)
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: No! Wait! Wait-wait! Ross, please!
Rachel: Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.
Rachel: I know that too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Rachel: Its not Christmas!
Rachel: Uh-huh!
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Rachel: Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: I want the little round waffles.
Rachel: Arghhhh!!!!!!