words in movies
Written by: Marta Kaufmann & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig With Help From: Rachel Stigge
Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be...
Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome.
Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
Rachel: So, um, did she...
Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)
Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings?
Rachel: (sticking her foot out) Hm-m.
Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.
(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)
Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!
Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.
Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?
Rachel: You!
Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Rachel: Who is it?
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Rachel: C'mon up.
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
Rachel: Youre out of Diet Coke.
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Rachel: Right! You're right!
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: If we broke up, and I lost you...
Rachel: Wow.
(Rachel leaves.)
Rachel: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Rachel: How is she?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Oh, God! Please, somebody say something.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Rachel: Yeah, I forget which ones.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Rachel: (entering) Hey, guys, what's up.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Rachel: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Rachel: What?!
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh. Oh my God.
Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: I love you too. (They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Rachel: Really? Me?
Rachel: Well, you're not totally paranoid.
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
RACHEL: "Oh, my, god."
RACHEL: We won. We won!
RACHEL: All right, bye-bye.
Rachel: Bye-bye-e!
RACHEL: How did this happen?
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
RACHEL: Ok, so let's talk money.
Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
RACHEL: Well, what about my stuff?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Good different?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
RACHEL: Ok, you win.