words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
RACHEL: No, nothin'.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
[Rachel enters from her room]
RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?
RACHEL: I'll call the super.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
RACHEL: What'cha gonna' do?
RACHEL: Nice seizing. . . gel boy.
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
RACHEL: Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil.
RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Rachel: What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?
Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!
Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
Rachel: Oh-okay, but Pheebs?
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Rachel: What?! You kissed!
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Rachel: What?!
(Rachel discreetly coughs to warn her.)
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Rachel: It was only 500 bucks.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
(He closes the door before Rachel can say anything.)
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Merrill Lynch?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Rachel: (gasps) Rob Tillman!
Rachel: Ohh! Okay!
Rachel: Wow! How are you?!
Rachel: Ohh! Me too!
Rachel: (laughs) Oh yeah? Okay.
Rachel: Ohh, I would love too.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Mon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Rachel: Oh yeah.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Rachel: Hes coming over! Hes coming over!
Rachel: Ah!
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: You just dont look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.
Rachel: She asked-asked you out again?
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Rachel: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Rachel: Hi! Wh-what are you doing here?
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Rachel: Oh what do you know? Virgin!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Wow! Tell me something Joey(She falls off the couch)Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there.
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: Wow! I cant, I cant feel my hands.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: She-she died Jill.
Rachel: (wakes up suddenly and realizes where she is) Oh right.
Rachel: (seeing the ring and gasping) Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!
Rachel: (groans) Oh God. Oh I cant believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: No! No-no-no
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Rachel: You know what we should all do? Go see a musical.
Rachel: Ohh! My God! Barry!!
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Rachel: Hi Ross!
Ross: Hey Rachel.