words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
RACHEL: No, nothin'.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
[Rachel enters from her room]
RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?
RACHEL: I'll call the super.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
RACHEL: What'cha gonna' do?
RACHEL: Nice seizing. . . gel boy.
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
RACHEL: Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil.
RACHEL: Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Rachel: All right!!
Rachel: Pheebs...
Rachel: Hello, Chip.
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Rachel: Well take Literature!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Rachel: Ohh-ha-ha!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]
(Rachel mouths Shoot! or something similar.)
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Rachel: (interrupting) Whoa-ho.
Rachel: Oh honey, Im sorry.
Rachel: Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so great!
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Ill go with you.
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Rachel: What is she doing here?
Rachel: Thank you.
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: No, Ill think about it. Yeah.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
[Scene: The lecture, Ross is passed out against Rachels shoulder.]
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
Rachel: Yeah! Right! Okay, Ill see you guys later. (starts to leave) Woo hoo!
Rachel: You promised you would break up with her!
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: You never come into this office again!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Rachel: Sophie sit!!
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Rachel: No! God, would you just calm down!
Rachel: All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.
Rachel: Foot rubs for a month!
Rachel: (happily) Yeah!!
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Rachel: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: Rachel!
Rachel: What?
RACHEL: Alright you guys, I'm takin' off my shirt.
Rachel: Right!
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
Rachel: No.
Rachel: I didnt I never said that.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.]
Rachel: No! Wait no! Shut upI mean dont cry! Let me get my checkbook! (Grabs her checkbook and runs after him.)
Rachel: Wait, Im not just gonna drink somebodys old coffee.
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
Rachel: Oh! My hero! What happened?
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Rachel: Go!!
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Rachel is on her date with Michael (MICH).]
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Rachel: (shouting) Im sorry!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Rachel: Hey! So, did you quit?
(Rachel starts to laugh.)
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Rachel: Where?!
Rachel: (teasingly) And while Im gone dont you boys sneak a taste.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
Rachel: (laughing) What was that?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Rachel: You got fired?!
Rachel: Sweety...
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...