words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying a baking dish) Hi!
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Rachel: Thank you!
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Rachel: Im sorry. What?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Monica: (To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.
Rachel: Im-ImI had no idea. Im sorry. I
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: You had a club?!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: What rumor?
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Monica, how come you never told me this?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Rachel: What?
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Rachel: Wow
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Shes right.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Uh, lets rip!
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Rachel: Tag
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Rachel: You can go.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?
Rachel: Im not?
(Phoebe and Rachel enter.)
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Rachel: What?
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Rachel: (entering) Oh good youre still here!
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
(Rachel exits.)
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
Rachel: Wait, I-I just said "leave."
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: (seeing him) Hi!
Rachel: Seriously. What?!
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Rachel: (confused) What?
Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.
Rachel: They do!
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Yknow what? Lets, lets talk later.
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Rachel: (stops) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Rachel: (shocked) Hi!
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Rachel: Excuse me?
Rachel: What married?
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Rachel: Oh, everything went great.
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: (laughing nervously) Oh, what a fun office.
Rachel: Welcome home.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel: What is?
[Someone bumps into Rachel and she drops the pie in a guy's hood that's seated at the table. She improvises by using the plate as a saucer for the coffee.]
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Rachel: You know you kissed me first.
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)