words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying a baking dish) Hi!
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Rachel: Thank you!
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Rachel: Im sorry. What?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Monica: (To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.
Rachel: Im-ImI had no idea. Im sorry. I
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: You had a club?!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: What rumor?
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Monica, how come you never told me this?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Rachel: What?
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Rachel: Wow
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Shes right.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?
Rachel: What-what-what are you gonna do?
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: Yeah uh, y'know what uh, let's skip it.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: Let me finish.
Rachel: Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to throw cards into a vase.]
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: I can't believe you would say that!
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Are they in love?
Rachel: I need some milk.
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Rachel: What? YetiI mean Danny?
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Rachel: What's up?!
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Rachel: Nothing! You go!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Rachel: Umm, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and
Rachel: Well, Ill be waiting for you, just come up when youre done.
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Rachel: There he is!
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
Rachel: Yeah! No that's what I was thinking.
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Well, it's my cat.
Rachel: Oh-ow!
Rachel: Sure! Why?
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Hey! Hi!
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Rachel: Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now?
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
RACHEL: Ya know, Dr. Burke kissed me once.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Rachel: What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me!
Rachel: Hi sweetie!
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: Why?! Why not?!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: You are the official baby crier stopper!
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
Chandler: Hey, is Rachel here?
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Ohh, good.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.