words in movies
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Monica: No you didnt. Oh and honey just so you know, now that youre marrying me, you dont get to win anymore.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
Policeman: Youre an Aquarius, huh?
Rachel: I bet youre a Gemini.
Policeman: Youre not gonna speed anymore right?
Monica: Relax! Youll be fine. (Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. Youre invisible now.
Chandler: Oh, theyre a hoot.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Ross: People ask me why were not together, I just dont know what to tell them.
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Ross: Sweetie youre doing great.
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
Rachel: Oh, just tell us! Were not gonna want it!
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think youre gonna like this a little better, cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Chandler: Well now-now youre just talking crazy.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you cause y'know youre my sister, y'know.
Monica: Okay, all right, I think youre great, I think youre sweet, and youre smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, theyre brining in yet another woman.]
Ross: Were so lucky.
Joey: Whyre you so tired?
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Janine: I dont know, theyre just a little blah!
Joey: And youre Okay with that?
Rachel: Youre never leaving the apartment!
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Chandler: Yes, 98.6. Youre gonna be fine.
Melissa: You do now. Youre having dinner with me.
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Kyle: Oh hey! Good, youre both here.
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Monica: What are you talking about? We�re all together right now.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Joey: Were gonna climb Mt. Everest!
Phoebe: Well, I guess they�re not coming. You wanna just order?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Rachel: Okay, in about ten seconds youre gonna see him kiss me.
Monica: I know that youre new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.
Joey: No, they�re comin�, we�re waitin� right here.
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Ross: Rach, I think youre reading a little too much into it.
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Joey: Oh my God Pheebs! Youre gonna have a baby?
Melissa: Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what youre talking about.
Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. Youre right, Im sorry.
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
Doug: Bing! Were all set for tonight, 8 oclock.
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Rachel: Are you okay? Youre not blinking.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! (Puts it out and comes out of the bathroom.) Im so glad youre here.
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is notthats-thats not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. Its-its, theyre-theyre wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdales, so And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
Joey: Youre gonna mess it up let me do it.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Chandler: Were on a semi-first name basis.
Monica: Oh, Id like a latte. Oh yknow what? If youre gonna talk about me, Im gonna go with you.
Monica: (stopping him) Sit down! Were winning!
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: Look at me! My big concern is whats real?! (Finally realises) Oh my God. Were really sad, arent we?
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Chandler: Well, were-were hanging out in here!
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)