words in movies
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave)
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Ross: Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh?
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
Ross: Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything.
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
Ross: All right!!
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Ross: Mon?
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Ross: Oh, come on, now you know you want em.
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Ross: Ah, were out. I sold them all.
Ross: Monica, Im cutting you off.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes!
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Ross: Well you sure used a large font.
Ross: Sweetie, calm down, its gonna be okay.
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough.
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Ross: Hi there!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Ross: That word was swans.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: I can.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Okay, Ive got three of my five.
Ross: Right. (Exits.)
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I know!
Ross: That would be great.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Ross: Here you go.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Ross: Really? Did you count Mississipily?
Ross and Joey: No.
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as Mona enters.]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
Ross: It didnt.
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Oh, no! No!
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Ross: (entering) Chloe? Hi..
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Still?!
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Ross: (entering) Hello.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Yes, I do.
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Its still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?