words in movies
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Ross: That is why!
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an embarrassing long pause)
Ross: Oh, man!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Ross: Who cares, AND?
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
Ross: Please, you're going down!
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
(Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Where's Rach?
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Oh, I will.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
(Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in looking very unhappy)
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Ross: I'll...
Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah...
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Ross: It's the dog.
Ross: Uh Joey...
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this.
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Ross: Great. Great.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Wow! Yeah!
Ross: Good call!
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
Ross: Hey-hey, what are those?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Ross: Okay, see ya later.
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
Ross: What's goin' on?
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Ross: Yeah, right!
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: No, thats all right.
Ross: Total wuss!
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: Hey! Are you ready yet?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Ross: (exhaling) The fear of Triscuts!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
(Ross wants to say something, but just smiles and leaves.)
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I cant believe youre not gonna be there!
Ross: Thanks.
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Ross: This is my wedding.
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Ross: All right, lets go! Bye, Pheebs!
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Ross: What?! No! No! Thats-thats time-out!
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats with the tackling?
Rachel: Im not in love with Ross!
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
Ross: She said what?
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Ross: (entering) Hey!
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Ross: whats up, Dad?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.