words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so .
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, he is entering out of breath.]
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ross: Phoebe!!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Ross: (enters) Hi, honey.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: How's the hair?
Ross: Long story, honey.
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hey! (congratulates him)
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
Ross: No!
Ross: (overhearing) What kind of research?
Ross: It's breast milk.
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Ross: Well, uh, do you have a Santa-outfit left?
ROSS: What?
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips.
Ross: Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her.
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Ross: No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
ROSS: You comin'?
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can'tyou can't do...
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea.
ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Hey?
Ross: Anyone else? Huh? Bring em on!
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
[Ross kicks her again]
[Scene: Ralph Lauren. Mr Zelner's office. Ross knocks on the door and enters.]
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Technically, huh, no.
ROSS: Sexy?
ROSS: No kidding?
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: What?
ROSS: You'd wait?
Ross: Nobody likes change.
ROSS: Women really want this?
Ross: Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross enters and checks his messages.]
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
ROSS: Hi everyone.
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
ROSS: What's wrong with people having sex?
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
ROSS: Pop it in.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.