words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The deans office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour?
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: Whats the matter?
Ross: Rach, hes not an ex-con.
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! Theyre mean and theyre stupid and-and I dont want my son learning them!
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Ross: Your good friend?
Ross: Whats her last name?
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Practical jokes.
Ross: You have a line down your face.
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: Okay, Ill see you later pal.
(Ross turns to leave.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Ross: Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Ross: Oh really! Why is that?
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
Rachel: (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?
Ross: You sure?
Ross: (pauses) I know.
Ross: Yes! Yes! Yes!! (Everyone stands and claps.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (shocked) What?!
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Ross: That is so unfair!
Ross: Ohh.
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
Ross: You like it?
Ross: Wha-what?
(Ross enters.)
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Ahh.
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God Ross!!
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Ross: Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
ROSS: Look, you wanna get off my back?
Ross: No!
Ross: All right. Feel good?
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Ross: I swear!
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here�s a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
Ross: Need some help?
Ross: I-I just thought you were doing so well. I
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Ross: (loosening his tie) Oh, who cares?
Ross: Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Ross: Great! Great! (He runs to the door.) Youre making the bike very happy.
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Joey: We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)
Ross: Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me.
Ross: Hey, theres uh, some people outside, askin about candy.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross: Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is getting ready for his date with Kristen.]
Ross: Hey! Whats up?
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I havent really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Hmm.
Ross: Oh thanks!
Ross: Ohio!! Thank you!
Ross: Im sorry, okay, Im sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Ross: (disappointed) Yes! Santa's coming!
Ross: I am dressed.
Ross: Its a great class.
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Ross: (on phone) Hello? Hi.
Ross: Well I uh, I skipped forth grade.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: I gotta get to work.
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Ross: No, these are my pants.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
Ross: (to Monica) Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (gasps) You are? Me, too!
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you gotta leave.
Ross: Thats right.
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Ross: Fine, I-I give up. Santa, Santa can stay.
Ross: Bummer.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
Ross: Well, I thought it first, Holmes.
ROSS: I'm tellin' you. You can't do this.
Ross: Yeah?
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Ross: Thats right, and thats why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ross: No.
Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!
Ross: Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?
Ross: Yknow, she tried to undress me too.
Ross: Cousin Frannies wedding, its tomorrow night.