words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: (startled) Yeah?
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Ross: That was you?
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Ross: What time?
Ross: Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Oh! So-so seriously, what time?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Ross: Umm, no. No.
Ross: Umm, its Cutie McPretty.
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Ross: (pushing Elizabeth into a doorway) Burt!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Ross: Yeah. What-what should I do?
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Ross: Going out with who?
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.]
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Ross: What?
Ross: Really? Its not just frowned upon?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is looking at his handbook. Elizabeth is also there.]
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Ross: What?
Ross: Really?
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Ross: (feeling it too) No! No! Its wrong! Its-its-its naughty. Its taboo.
Ross: Lets also get a hot plate!
[Scene: San Diege Zoo. Ross is still at the monkey cages. A janitor is sweeping.]
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Ross: Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.
Ross: It's in Barbados.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Ross: So-so what did the doctor say?
Ross: (puzzled) What?
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Ross: How do you feel about all this?
Ross: Oh, that's not what you want...
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Ross: Barbados.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Joey: (sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
(Ross mouths to Chandler, "Thank you," and he mouths, "Youre welcome," back.)
Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados?
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh...
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside?
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet.
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do?
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Ross: What did it say?
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Ross: Why, why would you open it?
Ross: NO! I don't!!
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Ross: Oh yeah? Youre going further down! Downtown!
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Ross: Well, what do you do?
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Ross: Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz?
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Ross: Yeah, that's it?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Ross: Ok, odd thing to get excited about!
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Ross and Charlie: Hey!
Ross: Good night.
Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night!
Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Ross: Oh!
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Ross: Oh, thanks guys!
Ross: Oh, thank you so much!
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Youre not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Ross: I don't know, probably just invest it.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, hes watching TV and eating some popcorn as the phone rings.]
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)