words in movies
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is giving a lecture.]
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Ross: Just a high pitched intimidating noise.
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
Ross: Well you need 60% to pass
Ross: Seven.
Ross: No-no its not. What-what happened there Ned?
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Ross: Well that brings me in the loop a little.
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. Theres a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me.
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Ross: It-itThe point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Joey: (To Ross) Problem solved.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Ross: (turning around and dragging the chalk down the board) What?!
Ross: No!
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
Ross: What?
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
(Ross glares at him.)
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Ross: Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that Im changing your grade back.
Ross: Cause I know what youre trying to pull here. Okay? Its not gonna work.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Ross: Fine! Fine! Yknow what? Whatever you want. Okay? Youre the mommy.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Ross: Mmm?
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Ross: Do them!!
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Its sex.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Ross: What?!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Ross: Stop it.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Ross: Yknow what?
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Ross: Forget it.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Not so much.
Ross: Oh, I know.
Ross: Were having a baby.
Ross: What's the part, Anti-man?
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering.
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, see I-I dont know if were gonna be hungry at three.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Ross: What-what?
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Ross: Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Yeah.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Ross: Hi Julie.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Ross: Uh yes! Thank you.
Ross: Later.
Ross: Oh good.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Ross: Oh uh, Im sorry. (Runs out.)
Ross: N-no! Okay? Weve been through this! Were not gonna get married just because shes pregnant, okay?
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Mom no, come on! Thank you.
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well...
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Ross: Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people?
Ross: Yeah? Okay.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Ross: Just ignore them.
Ross: (to him) Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?!
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Ross: Emma.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
Ross: No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.
Ross: Uh Rach
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
Ross: (softly) Really?
Ross: Oh there you go!
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Ross: No-no. We
Ross: Sid you lucky deaf bastard.
Ross: Hey!
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.