words in movies
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is giving a lecture.]
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Ross: Just a high pitched intimidating noise.
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
Ross: Well you need 60% to pass
Ross: Seven.
Ross: No-no its not. What-what happened there Ned?
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Ross: Well that brings me in the loop a little.
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. Theres a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me.
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Ross: It-itThe point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Joey: (To Ross) Problem solved.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Ross: (turning around and dragging the chalk down the board) What?!
Ross: No!
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
Ross: What?
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
(Ross glares at him.)
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Ross: Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that Im changing your grade back.
Ross: Cause I know what youre trying to pull here. Okay? Its not gonna work.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Ross: Noo!
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Ross: Hmph.
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Really.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Ross: Hey!
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing?
Ross: What?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear?
Ross and
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Ross: Just, just, just pick one!
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Yay!
Ross: It was, it was her voice.
Ross: No, no, no, no. Tick, tick, tick, tick.
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Ross: You're not going to go.
RACH: Good. [Ross leaves]
Ross: No.
Ross: Your not going.
Ross: Okay. You know that I-I have to go.
Ross: How, how, um how can you not be going?
Ross: No, but, your-your mad.
Ross: We're good.
Ross: About the yelling.
Rachel: Yes, Ross. (turns toward him)
Ross: Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.
Ross: Okay. Honey?
Ross: Phoebe, 800 is toll free, 801 is-is Utah.
Ross: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun.
Ross: What?
Ross: You will?!
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Ross: Well, yeah.
Ross: Save the breakthroughs for therapy, okay. The clock is ticking. We have no time, and we are losing, we are losing to girls.
Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! Youre an ezel!
Ross: Rachel!! (she enters) Wow! You, uh, you look, wow!
Ross: What?
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: Wow! What a pleasure.
Ross: So we're a little late.
Ross: Awwww!!!
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Ross: Look, look, look.
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Wait a minute, look.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: We're all alone in an empty apartment.
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
Ross: There it is.
Ross: And it works both ways.
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you.
Ross: That only took me an hour.
Ross: Yep.
Ross: Bye sweetie.
Ross: Shoot.