words in movies
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
Ross: Oh cool!
Ross: Well do you want some help?
Ross: Awesome!
Ross: (simultaneously with Chandler) Yeah!
Chandler: (simultaneously with Ross) No!
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Ross: Well uh, I-Im a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Joey: This one right here. (Ross whines.)
Ross: (exhaling) The fear of Triscuts!
Ross: Its possible, they have really sharp edges.
Ross: Wait a minute, I-I believe Im entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
Ross: Yknow what? Youre just upset because youre losing.
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Joey: Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Rosss points!
Ross: What?!
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Chandler: (disappointed and simultaneously as Ross) Hungry monkey.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
Ross: (thinking) Oh. (Pause) Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second!
Ross: Shut up! I Dream of Genie!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Is there a hopping bonus?
(Ross gets up and starts to hop on one leg.)
Ross: Ben Franklin.
Ross: Queen Victoria.
Ross: Noooo!!! Every time!!!
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: (entering, out of breath) Hey!
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Ross: Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
Ross: (excited) A Play-Dough Barber Shop?
Ross: Uh, what?
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Ross: Well we we dont have a garage.
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Ross: Yeah.
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Ross: Yes! Yes, youre gonna be so missed.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Ross: Im telling you.
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Ross: You sure?
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Ross: Excellent! Excellent, now-now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango card?
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: I can.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Okay, Ive got three of my five.
Ross: Right. (Exits.)
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I know!
Ross: That would be great.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Ross: Here you go.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Ross: Really? Did you count Mississipily?
Ross and Joey: No.
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as Mona enters.]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
Ross: It didnt.
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Oh, no! No!
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Ross: (entering) Chloe? Hi..
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Still?!
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Ross: (entering) Hello.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Yes, I do.
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Its still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)