words in movies
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Sure. Why not?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Wait-wait-wait, do you, do you think, maybe we shouldnt invite her?
Ross: Yeah sure.
Ross: Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want.
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Ross: Hi.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Ross: See, I see.... big passion in your future.
Ross: I do.
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. [she playfully rubs his head and gets up]
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Rachel: Ohhh!!!! [looking at something behind Ross]
Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Ross: What? [the cat jumps on his shoulders] Ow!
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out]
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
Ross: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
Ross: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Ross: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Ross: Fine.
Ross: Good.
Rachel: Good. (Ross leaves)
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Ross: She was...
Ross: She, she was different.
Ross: Nobody likes change.
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: You think?
Ross: Hey, youre right.
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!
Phoebe: Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Rosss wedding?
Rachel: Whats this? Is this Rosss wedding invitation?
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is introducing Julie to the gang.]
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out.]
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
Ross: You're over me?
Ross: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
Ross: When, when were you... under me?
Ross: OK, I need to lie down.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Ross: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
(Ross and Rachel hug.)
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross and Rachel.... You Know.]
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Ross: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to prevent Gunther from spilling the beans.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: The beachhouse, Ross and Rachel are argueing about the breakup.]
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
Ross: What?!
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are finally breaking up for good, or is it?]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross: Y'know what? I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
Ross: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Ross: Yeah, well.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
ROSS: Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Ross: No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Ross: You're kidding.
Ross: Wow!
Ross and Rachels Apartment
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Ross: Whaddya see?
Ross: You mean that?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Ross: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: (waves) Hello!
Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now.
Ross: (mocking Paolo) Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah....
Ross: I know-
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Ross: Susan...
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: Hi Pheebs!
Ross: My God.
Ross:(sympathetic yet...) Yeah, well...
Ross: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?
Ross: The actress!
Ross: Thanks Rach.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Come on, two on one.
Ross: What, now?
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
Ross: (entering) How's it going?
Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)
Ross: Hey.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Ross: You all right?
Rachel: Oh, Ross...
Ross: What?
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Ross: (astonished) What?
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
(Ross looks scared)
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Ross: Not even once.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically...
Ross: Aw, right.
Ross: An egg?
Ross: Hi. She said yes.