words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Ross: And here's little Ben nodding off...
(Ross is practically drooling over Rachel at this point.)
Ross: (quietly) That would be nice.
Ross: (overhearing) What kind of research?
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Ross: Hey.
[Time lapse. Chandler and Joey are making the fire, Monica and Phoebe are inside. Ross enters, carrying luggage.]
Ross: Hey. (Phoebe sees his bags)
Ross: I'm going to China.
Ross: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary (hands a sheet of paper to Monica). Um... here's a picture of me... (hands it to Monica)
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Ross: Oh. (pause) Hey, who's Carl?
Ross: No.
Ross: At the coffeehouse, right.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
(Ross goes outisde on the balcony.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (sigh)....I have to go to China.
Ross: No no, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront. Do you guys know who Carl is?
Ross: Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight.
Ross: Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? (gives Chandler a gift for Rachel)
Ross: I know.
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Monica: I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea?
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
Ross: (something in Chinese)
Ross: Ni-chou chi-ma! (walks onto jetway)
(Rachel runs into the airport, trying to catch Ross, moving people out of the way.)
Rachel: Ross! Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me....
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Ross: I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.
Ross: Fine, just stop thinking about me.
(She tries, and Ross disappears momentarily. He reappears, standing closer to her.)
Ross: Can't do it, can you?
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Ross: I know.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up?
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Ross: Well, start looking.
(They kiss. Ross walks away, and then fades out.)
(A Chinese woman getting off the plane drops one of her bags. Ross gets off next.)
Ross: Oh, hey, hey, I got that.
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No, no, they will. I just... uh...
Ross and Julie: Can't wait.
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Ross: Are you into crafts at all?
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: That's what I'm telling you.
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Ross: Hey! What's up?
Ross: (thinks) I take it.
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
ROSS: OK, now I'm nervous.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Monica: All right, hold on okay? First thing's first. (Gets her cleaning gloves on) Okay, now did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
ROSS: Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go.
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Ross: No, I cant get it out.
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
ROSS: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Ross: You got ink on your lip.
Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
Ross: Ohh. (He cuts himself a piece of cake.)
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Ross: That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Ross: Umm?
Ross: I will give you a call.
Ross: Okay!
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared.
Ross: So uhh, you ready?
Ross: Yeah-ha!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...]
Ross: (getting miffed) I suppose.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
Gym Employee: (to Ross) So, are you a member of any gym.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
Ross: Ahh. (notices the table) Ooh, is this a ah, is this a bad time?
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: No but but still you cant possibly do this alone.
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!!
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Really? That's great!
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
(Ross leaves, and after the door closes, Joey gives him the loser sign.)
Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Ross: Carol's pregnant.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Well, you just
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, well, that Wow, okay, well, umm then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again.
Ross: What?!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Ross: (outside the door) So Im gonna take off then!
Ross: Hey!