words in movies
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?
Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!
Ross: So, do you get colours or just French tips?
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: I'm a four?
Ross: (sarcastically) Really!
Ross: (annoyed) Ok!
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Ross: (hysterically) I'm an eight!
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that.
Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Ross: Really? Did you count Mississipily?
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
Ross: Dude, you're not tanned.
(Ross closes the door)
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
ROSS: What woman?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
[Ross enters]
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
ROSS: Well, we should probably get going.
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Ross: Its called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.) Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
[Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda.]
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
ROSS: Really?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
ROSS: Knock-knock.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
ROSS: G'night.
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
ROSS: C'mon.
Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?
ROSS: How could you not tell us?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Phoebe: You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Oh man.
ROSS: You got it.
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
ROSS: Hey you guys.
ROSS: Excuse me, your, your, your wind?
ROSS: No?
ROSS: Uh, sweetie we've gotta go.
ROSS: What, what's that?
ROSS: Open it, open in.
ROSS: Woah.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
ROSS: Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic.
ROSS: That audition.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
ROSS: Toilet paper?
Ross: I found a note on my door, "Come to Monicas quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar."
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
Rachel: Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.
(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)
JOEY: Thanks Ross.
ROSS: Good for you.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders.
ROSS: Huh.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
(Rachel enters with Paolo, speaking Italian. Ross looks annoyed)
ROSS: Huh, I'm just saying...
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Ross: Im just trying to help you, move on.
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
ROSS: Wha, what?
ROSS: What, the word hi?
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.