words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
Ross: Hello!
Ross: So, how was the honeymoon?
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
Ross: The lie you just told.
Ross: Theres the one!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Five to be lying, six.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
Ross: (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: (intently listening) Why?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: Uh-hmmWait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: I was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: I was just outside Barcelona, hiking
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Ross: Ill try that.
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Thanks. And-and hey Joe?
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Rachel: Oh Ross!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Ross: Joey! No!
(Ross storms out.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Ross: What?!
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Ross: Rachel, please
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Now Im so happy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Ross: Uhhhhhh that-that may be weird.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Ross: Good luck.
(Ross pushes play.)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Ross: Six months Rachel, six months.
Ross and Rachel: Ah. (Pause) Oh.
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Oh nice tan!
Ross: Ah .
Ross: I have been working out.
Ross and Rachel: Ohh! Ew!
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Ross: No!
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: Oh no!!
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!!!
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Ross: Hello!!
Mona: (seeing Ross) Oh my God! Ross!!!
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Ross: You do?
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Ross: Sure. Yeah.
Ross: (laughs) No. (Takes the shirt back.)
Ross: Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
Ross: Hey!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Ah, actually, Im sorry we-we probably should get going.
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Ross: So uh, he seems like a nice guy.
Ross: Thats a good question, dad. Thats a good question
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Ross: WhaWhat?
Ross: Can you believe that?
Woman: Ross!
Ross: Hey
Ross: Hi Aunt Lisa, Uncle Dan
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
Ross: We love marriage!
Ross: What was wrong with Mona?
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
Ross: Yeah baby!
Ross and Rachel's Apartment.
Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.
ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
Woman: (To Ross) So, how did you propose?
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Mrs. Geller: (crying) Oh Ross
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Ross: Sure, we don't live there but...
Ross: Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
ROSS: Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are there.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Ross: Whyd you say no?
Ross: How about the place settings?
Ross: Shhh! Were not talking.
Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Ross: Are you serious?!
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this!
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Ross: Oh, veto. How aboutOoh, I like Ruth! What about Ruth?
Ross: Are you kidding?
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Ross: So, I uh I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby.
Ross: Don't say that.
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Ross: Yeah, so far nothing stupid.
Ross: Yeah, you too.
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
Ross: Uh no, no just-just that he is a great guy.
Ross: Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go "ba dum bum chessh"
Ross: Sure, you want to go upstairs?
<Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen>
Ross: I would say that.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Ross: Your make-up!
Ross: It really was.
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Ross: Hi Jill.
Ross: Amazing! Amazing!