words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
Ross: Hello!
Ross: So, how was the honeymoon?
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
Ross: The lie you just told.
Ross: Theres the one!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Five to be lying, six.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
Ross: (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: (intently listening) Why?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: Uh-hmmWait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: I was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: I was just outside Barcelona, hiking
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Ross: Ill try that.
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Thanks. And-and hey Joe?
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Rachel: Oh Ross!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Ross: Joey! No!
(Ross storms out.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Ross: What?!
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Ross: Rachel, please
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Now Im so happy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Ross: Uhhhhhh that-that may be weird.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Ross: Good luck.
(Ross pushes play.)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Ross: Six months Rachel, six months.
Ross and Rachel: Ah. (Pause) Oh.
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Oh nice tan!
Ross: Ah .
Ross: I have been working out.
Ross and Rachel: Ohh! Ew!
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Ross: No!
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: Oh no!!
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!!!
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Joey: Hey so wheres Ross?
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Ross: In the closet.
Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away.
Ross: Will, high school was-was a long time ago.
Ross: Sure what kind?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Ross: Linen closet.
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Ross: Yep.
Ross: Yep, can you believe it?
Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a Huh?
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Ross: Im gonna go.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didnt do anything wrong?!
Ross: Joey!
Ross: No I dont.
Ross: No.
Ross: Well we we dont have a garage.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Not using it right, Joe.
Ross: No!
Ross: No!
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Ross: Joey, give me the bag.
Ross: What is the matter with you?!?
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Chandler: (sarcastically shocked) Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Rosss situation?
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Ross: Just Ross!
Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Ross: You know my birthday.
Ross: I broke my thumb.
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Ross: October 18th.
Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess.
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.
Ross: Just ah just put roommate.
Ross: Yeah thats what she said.
Ross: Yeah.
(Ross looks away, not bothering)
Ross: Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly)
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Ross: So apparently Im available for lunch.
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
[Scene: A Street, Ross is walking past a newsstand and sees Rachel.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: (smiles) Right.
Ross: What, Rach?
(Suddenly Ross jumps up from behind the counter armed with a plastic gun. By the way, hes overacting too.)
(Ross and Rachel enter)
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.
Ross: Not you.
Ross: Monday?!
Ross: Just three?! Im dilated three!
Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment]
Ross: Blueberry it is.
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Ross: Well, what was it?
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Ross: Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?
Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Rachel: Ross said he died.
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Ross: Thanks doctor.
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Ross: You promised you wouldn't say anything.
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma.)
Ross: Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.
Ross: Oh man.
Ross: I am a single parent.