words in movies
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
ROSS: Man, I sure miss Julie.
ROSS: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
ROSS: I know.
ROSS: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinkin' when she sees you tomorow, she's probably gonna realize, "hey, you're not Bob."
ROSS: Oh my god. You are pure evil.
ROSS: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
CHANDLER: But it's Ross.
PHOEBE: It's Ross.
ROSS: Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you?
PHOEBE: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross.
JOEY: For Ross.
RACHEL: For Ross, Ross, Ross.
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
ROSS: I'm tellin' you. You can't do this.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
ROSS: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
ROSS: Go.
ROSS: Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef--
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
ROSS: Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister--
ROSS: That's fine, I'll just wait!
ROSS: Monica!
CHANDLER: Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. (to Ross) I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
ROSS: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
ROSS: That sounds great. Same for me.
ROSS: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
ROSS: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
ROSS: Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.
ROSS: So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
ROSS: Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine.
ROSS: I hear ya.
ROSS: I, I just never think of money as an issue.
ROSS: That's a good point.
ROSS: Wha--? Whoa, hey, I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative--there's gonna be a hoopla?
ROSS: G-gift? The thing's not the gift?
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
ROSS: Not at the concert.
ROSS: Whoo!
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
ROSS: Come on.
ROSS: Could you be less enthused?
ROSS: We're just tryin' to do a nice thing here.
RACHEL: Ross, you have to understand that your nice thing makes us feel this big.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Chandler!
ROSS: Geez! Are you ready?
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
ROSS: Wow.
ROSS: Still doing the screening thing?
ROSS: (silently mouthing) Bumpy?
ROSS: Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here.
ROSS: Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song.
ROSS: Excellent, that was excellent.
ROSS: What guys? Oh, yeah.
ROSS: Ross.
ROSS: Hey, you guys.
ROSS: Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night?
ROSS: Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust.
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
ROSS: Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
[Scene: Ross's apartment.Someone's knocking on the door. Ross rushes to the door and it's Rachel with Emma.]
Ross: Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
CAROL: Ross. [He lets her go]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Ross: So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us!
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Mona: Okay, but I get to hop on after her. (Ross bites the air in response.)
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Ross: I don't care. Whatever is the cheapest.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list]
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen...
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Ross: I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding.
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
ROSS: Until now. [jumps on Rachel on the bed]
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Rachel: Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Ross: (overacting as well) Yeah! Yeah! (Laughs.) Oh, this will make a great memory.
Ross: Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)
Ross: You'll see. Okay. (Readies himself.) Oh, what's-what's her name?
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are finally breaking up for good, or is it?]
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
[Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.]
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Ross: Umm, Jos a girl, its short for Josephine.
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know. Ross, I still cant forgive you for what you did, I cant, I just, but sometimes when Im with you I just, I feel so...
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is trying out different cookie recipes. Ross and Phoebe are the tasting group.]
Ross: No! That's-that's my arm!
Ross: Its Ben and his Da-Da. Da-Da? Can you say Da-Da? Yknow, you might as well say it because I told your
ROSS: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Ross: Well, he had gravity boots.
Ross: Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Ross: (pretend fishing in the living room) Ohh, Gellers got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! (Swinging the rod back and forth) Its the classic struggle between man and(swings the rod and knocks over a lamp.) Someone knocked over a lamp.
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
<Ross nods his head and points at her, in a yes manner>
Ross: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
Ross: You're kid's name is Raymond!
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Ross: I love this. (he got a sweater)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Tommy: (entering, finished with yelling at Ross, who follows him in shell shocked) (happily) Hey!
Ross: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Ross: Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day.
Ross: Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)