words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Rachel: Oh my God!!! Ross!!
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Ross: well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
Ross: What should I wear, now Im all nervous.
ROSS: Could you be less enthused?
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Ugh, can you believe that guy!
Ross: Is everything okay?
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?
Ross: Ah, were out. I sold them all.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Ross: (entering) Hey.
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross is eagerly waiting for the others to get ready, to go to the hospital.]
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
(Ross calls Rachel)
Ross: What, do you, well umm, oh how about I come up there?
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Ross: Hey, honey.
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Ross: Okay sorry, whew.
Ross: Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning?
Ross: Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
(Ross starts to pack up the picnic in anger, and throws a three hole punch in the basket.)
Ross: Yeah, but wait...
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I dont!
Sophie: I love Mark. (to Ross) Do you know Mark?
Ross: Hey.
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Ross: Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, were gonna break-up instead.
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
(Ross goes to call her.)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Ross: Hi! Its me.
Ross: Whos that?
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
PHOE: [seeing Ross kissing Julie outside the window] Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.
Ross: Oh, no, no.
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Ross: Yeah, but I got cous-cous!
Ross: Is that Mark?
[Scene: Rosss Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: I love you.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: What trail?
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Ross: (stopping grinding) Pepper?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: You took my watch?
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.