words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
ROSS: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme.
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
ROSS: Hey guys.
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
ROSS: Hey guys.
ROSS: Um, just some presents.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!
ROSS: Yeah?
ROSS: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.
[Monica and Ross enter.]
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
[Ross approaches Rachel, away from everyone else.]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is preparing for the party with Ross questioning her.]
ROSS: C'mon, just tell me, please, please.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
ROSS: Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . .
MONICA: Ross, the heat!
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
ROSS: It uhh, it won't go back.
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
ROSS: OK, tip the man.
ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
ROSS: You mean hardball?
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.
ROSS: Are you OK?
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
ROSS: You got me a cola drink?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: Wow! Really?!
Ross: Okay, umm
Ross: Ohh!
Jill: Oh great! Thanks Ross, youre such a good friend!
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Ross: (answering it) Hello?
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
Ross: Umm, she kissed me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.]
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: You take care Jill.
Ross: Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey
Ross: Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice.
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Ross: What?!
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Ross: Im gonna call after you!
Ross: Yeah. Right.
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)
Ross: No-no. Its-its me, Ross!
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Ross: Gimme this. (Grabs the herbalists card and leaves.)
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: Hey Mon!
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
Ross: Mon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
Ross: Okay, well, well call the company that sent her!
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
Ross: Well, last weekend
Ross: since I stopped trying.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: What-what do you mean?
Ross: Okay, I think I got it.
Ross: will be two months
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, lets go. (She and Ross get up)
Ross: I got it!
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
Ross: (To Monica) Yeah, shes fired.
Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Ross: Yeah? Well, I-I think Bens asleep.
Ross: Hey, Pheebs!
Chandler: (To Ross) But I think we should tell her.
Ross: She doesnt know she was fired yet, does she?
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Ross: Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you...
Ross: Fine. Youll-youll watch it on video when we get back.
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: How hot is this?!
Ross: I dont know. A month?
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
(Ross turns to leave.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look at you! Youre up!
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. Ross Tillman.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: It was, it was okay.