words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
ROSS: Oh, it's fine.� Actually, I, I invited Mike over.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
ROSS: I don't know.� But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know.� He plays piano; I played keyboards in college.� He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
ROSS: So . . .� Welcome.
ROSS: I got bottled breast milk.
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
ROSS: (pause) That's okay.� We'll talk about (pause) something else.� (They pause.� They drink.)
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
ROSS: I do.� I do.� Although, it's actually a lager.
ROSS: I don't know.� We could look it up.
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
RACHEL: No.� No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.� "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat twice.) "Me neither." (Clears throat again.)
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I see what you mean.� By the way, nice Ross imitation.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
ROSS: So soon?
ROSS: Okay.� Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.
ROSS: Ah yeah.� Good times.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
(Ross, inside the door, releases a sign of relief.� Back in the hall, Mike's cell phone rings.)
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
ROSS: Uh, hi.
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is reading from a book.]
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
ROSS: Rachel, lock the door.� Lock the door,� seriously.
(Inside the apartment the phone rings.� Ross answers it.)
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
ROSS: (pauses, then crunches up the note and stuffs it in his pocket.)� Never mind.
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
ROSS: Ugh.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: My mommies love me. That's clever.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
ROSS: Tho?
ROSS: Ohhh.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Paulo: (entering) Hey, hey Ross.
ROSS: Oh.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
ROSS: Hi guys.
ROSS: Uh huh.
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Ross: (looking at them) Wh-what's going on?
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
ROSS: Please tell me you're joking.
ROSS: You're over me?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
ROSS: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
ROSS: Yep.
ROSS: Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he?
ROSS: Cat. [leaves]
ROSS: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: Hmmm-mmmm.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Good.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
ROSS: Hi.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
ROSS: How are you?
ROSS: Good.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
ROSS: There was never a good time.
RACH: Did uh, Ross call?
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
ROSS: I don't know.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Well, uh.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
[Ross leaves.]
ROSS: That's right, he's not Drake, he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin.
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
ROSS: No, you don't.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
ROSS: No?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]