words in movies
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
[Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha) are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave people.]
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Does she.
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: (trying to ignore her) No. No.
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Ross:Hi.
Ross: You look great. I, uh... I hate that.
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Ross: Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family?
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Ross: Pregnant?!
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi.
Ross: Carol's pregnant.
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Ross: Aw, Mom...
Monica: Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Ross: D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help?
Ross: Anyway.. um.. (Starts to sweep.) So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?
Ross: Mm-hmm..
Ross: Mm.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Ross: Got me.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Ross: Yes, yes!
Ross: Me either... (He pulls up a stool so that he doesn't have to move his hand.)
Ross: (entering) Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Ross: How could I forget?
Susan: Ross.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Ross: -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: (picks up a surgical instrament and mimes a duck with it) Quack, quack..
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
Ross: Marlon?!
Ross: ...As in Mouse?
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Ross: 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..?
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Ross: Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
Carol: Ross. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse.
Ross: Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
Ross: Then don't do that, alright?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Ross: You're gonna be an aunt.
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: Okay? (goes into the living room)
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Ross: A wandering?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has picked up a vacuum and is holding it at the door.]
Ross: Okay, sure.
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Ross: You guys.
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Ross: You got a job?
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Ross: Split it?
Ross: Goodnight.
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Ross: There's an image.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Ross: Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Ross: Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
ROSS: So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money.
Monica: Uh, Ross.
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Ross: Easy.
Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
Ross: Like em, like em? Or, Id like to get store credit for that amount like em?
Ross: What is this?!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
[Scene: A clothes store. Ross and Phoebe are shopping]
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
ROSS: On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh.
Ross: Hey, Pheebs.
Ross: ...What shoe?
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]
Ross: Well..
Ross: (interrupting him) YeahNo-but-but-but-but! Were just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, thats not scary right?