words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Ross: Five.
Ross: Challenge extended.
Ross: Challenge excepted.
Ross: Well be starting with apples.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
(Ross reveals a bag of apples.)
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Ross: No-no-no, I-I wanna play.
Ross: The test is ready.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
(Ross flips the coin again.)
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Althea is correct.
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Ross: Im afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Ross: You dont have to shout everything.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer.
Ross: 150 dollars.
Ross: 200 dollars.
Ross: Excuse me.
Ross: All right, gentlemen, youre up first.
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Ross: Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: Two seconds
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Ross: No, 19.
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Ross: (dialling the phone) All right-all right, fine! I-Im gonna call the cops!
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Ross: Yeah, sure, right! Like I've ever been in Rachel Green's room.
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: You dont know?! Rach, you balded my girlfriend!
Monica: Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Ross: (entering) Hey Rach!
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Ross: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Rachel: No! Wait! Wait-wait! Ross, please!
Chandler: Okay Ross, why dont you come with me?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Saved your ass.
Ross: (entering) Hey everyone!
Ross: No! Why?
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Ross: And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: (gets up) Okay!
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Amy: (very excited) Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? (Ross just gives up and leaves)
Ross: What you dont think Id go up to her?
Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).
ROSS: Ok. No, hey, whoa, whoa, I'll get your coat.
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: Thats right!
Ross: (entering) Hello!
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
[Rachel leaves, and Ross follows her into the hall.]
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: Oh.
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Ross: Will you-will you please?
Ross: Just please stop!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Rachel: Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience!
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Ross: Okay. Sometimes I feel
Ross: Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want.
Ross: (jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Okay Rach, but
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Oh, come on!
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
Ross: On account of my rage.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Ross: Sweetie, dont worry youll get picked. Chandler.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Yeah! Right!