words in movies
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Ross: Monicas pregnant!
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
(Flash, the photographer takes a picture of Monica and Chandlers stunned faces.)
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Chandler: Whos the father?
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Chandler: As in Barbara Streisands husband James Brolin?
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Phoebe: Whos the father?!
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats fine. Thats fair. Is it Tag?
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
Ross: Mona umm Clickclocken. The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no shes uhwell shes dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Joey: Wow Dennis Phillips! Thats great! How did you guys meet?
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Rachel: Oh yknow what honey? Lets not talk about that right now?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Rachel: Well, maybe thats, maybe thats really brave.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
Monica: (interrupting) Rachels really the one whos pregnant.
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Mona: Uh, thats okay. You can dance with her first.
Ross: Oh, you-you sure? (She nods yes.) Okay. (To the girl) Okay. So whats uh, whats your name.
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Dennis Phillips: Its an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: Its time.
Phoebe: Umm, its negative.
Phoebe: Its negative.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: No, its positive.
Phoebe: Its-its not negative, its positive.
Rachel: Oh-oh, thats a risky little game!
Rachel: Ah, its still not the time.
Mona: Its Joey right?
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Monica: Oh, hes catching up to her!
Joey: What?! Its 6 oclock!
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Monica: Hey! Hows it goin?
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Rachel: Ooh, lets open them!
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Janine: Its a curling iron.
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
Rachel: Whats the matter?
Monica: Oh thats great!
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
The Dry Cleaner: Well, then its not on the wall yet.
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
Elizabeth: Are you okay? Whats wrong?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, continued from earlier.]
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Rachel: (yelling) So youre gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and thats where everybodys gonna be!
Monica: Well Rachels not here! (Runs out.)
Ross: No-no. Its-its me, Ross!
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Phoebe: Well then I think thats it.
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Rachel: No! Really, no, please, please, thats, thats okay.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Megan: Oooh its getting close!
Ross: Hes taking her purse!
Megan: So uh, whos your photographer?
(The movie starts, its a vampires lair and Buffay, The Vampire Layer enters dressed in leather and carrying a wooden stake. Suddenly, the vampire opens his coffin and sits up.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is watching TV, and hes very depressed as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Rachel: Whats the other one?
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Ross: Thats right!
Rachel: Nooo, hes leaving for a better job.
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Paul and Rachel are recovering.]
[Scene: Chandlers office, the guys are there waiting to ambush the stripper.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: (interrupting her) Okay, thats enough honey!
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
C.H.E.E.S.E.: (Wayne with a computerized voice) Nice to meet you Mac!
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Phoebe: Its gone.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.