words in movies
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401-Ks to me?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmers bodies!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: Thats not funny.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
The Waiter: No, its really good.
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Pete: Theres one thing missing.
Ross: No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batmans tux!
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Thats....
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Stings son do not get along.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Ross: Thats what?!
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Chandler: Its an old key!
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Policeman: Thats Hanson.
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Joey: Hey, theres a dog out there!
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Monica: Hes so cute.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom.]
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Chandler: Lets go.
Eric: Thats weird.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Chandler: Whats it about?
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
Ross: My wifes a lesbian.
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Monica: Whats the part?
Ross: Come on! Thats great.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Rachel: Yeah. Thats Daddy.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Rachel: Well thats his last name.
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.