words in movies
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401-Ks to me?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmers bodies!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: Thats not funny.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
The Waiter: No, its really good.
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Great! Monicas moving!
Ross: But hey, its not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Chandler: Thats sweet.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Ross: Because its weird!
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Tag: All right then, its settled.
Ross: Uh okay, well theres-theres wine in the kitchen.
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! Hes a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Chandler: Wow thats actually pretty cool.
Joey: Why? (In Drakes voice.) Why cant the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Erin: Whats wrong?
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Erin: Yeah, lets go.
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Chandler: Its my joke.
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Rachel: YeahNo wait! Joey no wait it is. Its something. Its-its umm its my boss.
Elizabeth: No, its a water balloon fight! We started it!
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Joey: Yeah, lifes pretty great isnt it?
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Melissa: Hey! Isnt that Tags backpack.
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Tag: Thats kinda sad.
Rachel: Lets roll!
Ross: Hey, theres uh, some people outside, askin about candy.