words in movies
Aired: 12/12/2002 Written by: Doty Abrams Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Stephan Hoffmeister
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Ross: Its not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I
Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! Its so beautiful!
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Rachel: Okay, whats your name?
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
Chandler: Theres no question.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at womans breasts all the time!
Rachel: Well, that-thats not your choice. Happy Halloween!
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Ross: Its still looks pretty far!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Joey: And shes back in the game.
Rachel: Really? You think thats all it is?
Joey: Thats not so bad.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Chandler: Whats the matter?
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Chandler: (choking up) Oh my God thats it, thats the ring! How much is it?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: My mothers still alive.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: No, shes hanging in there.
Rachel: So shes really not dead.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Eric: Shes helped so many people to quit smoking.
Ross: Yknow I would its just painful.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
Monica: Dont you see? Its the perfect crime!
Cecilia: Oh youre right. Thank you! Whats your name again?
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Ross: Its not for me, its for Rachel.
Brenda: Whats going on?!
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: Really? Thats the thing Im worse at! Youll see. (Exits.)
Chandler: Heres another plan No!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and hes Hey everybody! Remember that thing thats been dead for a gazillion years. Well theres this little bone we didnt know it had!
Chandler: Shes shhing me! Its my phone and shes shhing me!
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: Its moving.
Rachel: Wow! Whoa-whoa whats under the covers?
Rachel: No-no-no! This chairs not going anywhere.
Phoebe: Sure. Yeah, hes kinda sexy.
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
Dr. Green: Its chicken.
Dr. Green: Whats TiVo?
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Chandler: Thats me.
Chandler: So shes a
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Monica: Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girls number.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Stu: No, shes a hooker.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Will: Its good to see you man.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Rosss wedding.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!