words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, hes working at his computer as his boss, Mr. Franklin, sticks his head in.]
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
Chandler: Hey thats okay. So, where do you want to go?
Chandler: Yeah, he thinks thats my name.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Joey's Co-Star: Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessicas brain.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, lets just do that.
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Monica: Because hes terrible! Okay, hes slow, he burns things, last night he lit my pastry chef on fire!
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
Bob: Hey! Hows my pal Toby doing today?
Chandler: But this is eleven. Its almost twice as hard up here.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Mr. Franklin: (laughs) Thats a good one. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Ross: Why no, its the opposite of weird. Its-its uh, regular. Its-its uh, its mundane. Its actually uh, a little dull.
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Ross: A date?! Shes-shes got a date?! With who?
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Tim: Its because Im with you.
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Mona: Hey its Mona! From the wedding.
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Joey: What-whats so funny?
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Frank: Yeah, so we just thought wed stop by and let you know theres still no pressure.
Phoebe: What, hes 18.
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Chandler: Okay, thats like the least fun game ever.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, its uh, its like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Monica: Hows the big anniversary dinner?
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
Chloe: Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
Chandler: Its horrible.
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Monica: Oh, thats sounds great.
Pete: Thats about 60 cents.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
Monica: All right, yknow what? We really are late! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go!!
The Director: Joe. Hows it going?
Monica: Its gonna be so great.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: Its still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Monica: Noo! Ill stay. Hes my brother.
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Mark: Thats okay.
Monica: Its not?
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joey: (holding an empty tissue box) Wheres all the tissues?! (Throws the box down in disgust.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Chandler: Thats the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Monica: Whats this?
Monica: You touch peoples eyeballs every day and this feels weird.
Ross: Sure, whats up?
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Ross: Hey, whats this?!
Rachel: Whats this?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, my Fathers house does that!
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Chandler: So um, Mary-Angela, whats your second favorite?
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Monica: Youre kidding?! Thats great!
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
[Scene: Rachels office.]
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Rachel: Thats fine!
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand)
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Chandler: Oh my God! Whos gonna watch that?!
Jennifer: Lisas laugh though TheresIts so infectious. Its one of those things just forget about it. Once it starts, its all gone.
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Monica: Thats Bill Clinton.
Monica: Okay. Heres the thing.
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Pete: Wait, wait, wait, wait, thats-thats what youre worried about? If thats the problem, weve got no problem.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
Joey: Hows she doing?
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Phoebe: Listen, Roberts gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him?
Joey: Thats not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Joey: Correct! Theres a possible backwards bonus!
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Monica: Hes not boring! Hes just-hes just low key.
(Yep, its a little gold loop.)