words in movies
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
Joey: [It�s just] So spooky, that�s all.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
[Scene: The Bings�. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone�s knocking at the door.]
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica�s breasts.)
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel�s.]
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
Chandler: Yeah, let�s celebrate life!
Ross: Great. So let�s get going?
Monica: You know what? Let�s not talk.
Monica: That�s right, I got mine.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: That�s a great story�can I eat it?
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Ross: Well, ??? think that�s us?
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Phoebe: Okay, lets talk outside.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
[Scene: Rosss lawyers office, his name is Russell and has just been told by Ross about his current situation.]
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You havent touched Eldads hair!
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Monica: Whats wrong Phoebe?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Rachel: Times up, now your dead.
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
The Producer: (walking into Macs office) So uh, heres your office set!
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Phoebe: Thats what you think.
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Rachel: Thats nice.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats right.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Rachel: Its the same story.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Rachel: (seeing whos trapped) Hey
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Tag: Hi! Rachel Greens office.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Rachel: Well yeah, sure, whats up?
Rachel: Whys that?
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, its the same arrangement as before.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! Its so beautiful.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Phoebe Sr: (entering) Hi! Whats going on?
Monica: Thats it! Take it! Take it! Take it!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.