words in movies
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Joey: Well, thats really a different question.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
Joey: Hey, theres a dog out there!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Chandler: Umm, hows it going with you guys?
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Chandler: Sure. Ummm. Whats up?
Monica: Hes so cute.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Rachel: Oh, but thats okay.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Eric: Thats weird.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Monica: Its the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away) And-and the humidity.
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Chandler: Whats it about?
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
[Scene: Monicas, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
Phoebe: Well, thats not something a girl wants to hear.
Ross: My wifes a lesbian.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Phoebe: Its gone.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Phoebe: So now whats going on here?
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Ross: Huh. Yknow whats not one of a kind? A twin!
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Monica: Ohh thats sweet!
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: Yes. (Thinking hes gone.)
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: The keys stuck in the lock.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
Monica: Yeah, its great.
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: Thats right.
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Monica: No thats, thats okay.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Joey: Okay thats fair.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
Richard: I think thats fair.
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent.
Monica: (looking at one) Oh, heres a great one.
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats up?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Chandler: Its happened to you?
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Monica: Thats true.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
A Woman: Lets go!!
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Kathy: (entering) Hey! (sees whats on TV) Oh God, is that Baywatch?
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
[Cut to Rachels bedroom.]
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you