words in movies
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Joey: Well, thats really a different question.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
Joey: Hey, theres a dog out there!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Chandler: Umm, hows it going with you guys?
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Chandler: Sure. Ummm. Whats up?
Monica: Hes so cute.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Rachel: Oh, but thats okay.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Eric: Thats weird.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Monica: Its the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away) And-and the humidity.
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Chandler: Whats it about?
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
[Scene: Monicas, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
Phoebe: Well, thats not something a girl wants to hear.
Ross: My wifes a lesbian.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Rachel: Thats great!
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is still bumming about cancellation of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Monica: Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Chandler: Whos that?
Monica: Its not your birthday.
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Rachel: Oh thats all right! Yknow, I ended up having a really good time. Yknow, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Joeys!
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Monica: Oh thats too bad. Its true, but too bad.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, thats great!
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Ross: Phoebe hes right, that is the rule.
Joey: Thats a really long time.
(Shes about to get in when )
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Rachel: Yeah, so lets get started on the wedding plans!
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Joey: Hey, whats the horsepower on this thing?
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Male Jeweler: (to the female jeweler) Wheres the 1920s princess cut ring.
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Chandler: Whats going on?
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Hilda: No dear. Its not.
Chandler: Whats this?
Joey: So uh, whats your name?
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Joey: Thats weird!
The Fireman: Theres a reset button under the plastic cover.
Joey: Thats kinda hot.
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Chandler: And theres daddy!
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Chandler: Thats Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano.
Chandler: Hes coming into the audience. Hes coming into the audience.
Phoebe: Thats great Joe!
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Helena: So whats your name?
Helena: Its raining men!
Policeman: Thats right.
Rachel: Its a different guy!
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Monica: Thats much better.
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Chandler: Whats up?
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel walks up the stairs and knocks on Joeys door.]
Rachel: So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: All right, it wont go down any further. Its stuck.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so