words in movies
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
MNCA: Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Phoebe: Youre the most beautiful bride Ive ever seen.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
MRS GREEN: I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Rachel: I havent seen it yet!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Chandler: Yes have you seen any?
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?!
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
The Fan: Oh yeah! Ive seen all her movies.
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
The Dry Cleaner: Ive never seen it!
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
Woman No. 1: No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators?
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Joey: There was a seen in Footloose...
Cheryl: My hamster. I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Joey: How long since youve seen a girl naked?
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Kash: Hey! How come I havent seen you here before?
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
Rachel: I haven't seen you in like.. a year.
Man: Well I actually, I-I really, I haven't seen her for years. But umm, well I-I was pretty tight with-with her and her daughter.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Chloe: Hi guys. I havent seen you since this morning.
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Monica: No, I-I havent seen your pink shirt.
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Joey: Youve seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)