words in movies
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
ESTL: Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic?
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Alice: And weve tried everything, weve seen a bunch of doctors.
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Monica:: do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing.
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Monica: Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Ross: Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere?
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
Phoebe: No thanks, Ive already seen one.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated.
Ross: Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach?
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
Ross: (entering) Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? Its a button down, like a, like a faded salmon?
Cop: Yeah. Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest, fake undercover whore I've ever seen.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Joey: You seen Sandy?
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Monica: A monkey. Have you seen a monkey?
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
MNCA: Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
Phoebe: Youre the most beautiful bride Ive ever seen.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
MRS GREEN: I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want.
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
Rachel: I havent seen it yet!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?