words in movies
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
MRS. WALLACE: Is she gonna be all right?
PHOEBE: Yeah, um, she was 82 years old. Her name was um, Mrs. Adelman.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
MRS. GREEN: [entering] There she is.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
MONICA: Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
PHOEBE: I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone.
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Chandler: I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.)
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
(She goes over and kisses Chandler.)
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
(She brings him over to Chandler.)
(She shakes her head no.)
Katie: Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese?! (She hits him repeatedly as she says that.)
Kim: Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten.
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: Shes gone.
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Ross: Where is she?
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Phoebe: Would she?
Joey: Wouldnt she?
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
(She walks into her bedroom.)
(She comes back out.)
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)