words in movies
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Katie: Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese?! (She hits him repeatedly as she says that.)
(She heads to the bathroom and Joey sits back down.)
Rachel: She is so cute! You could fit her right in your little pocket!
Joey: (shyly) She keeps punching me.
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
Rachel: Aww, Joey, come here. (She takes his hand.) Look honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I--Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you?
Rachel: Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Katie: No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! (She punches him again and he retreats to the arm of the couch.)
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Katie: Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! (She punches Rachel.)
Rachel: Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend! (She retaliates.)
Rachel: Ohh, you're so sweet! (She kicks Katie in the shin.)
Katie: Oww!!!! Joey, she just kicked me.
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Rachel: Oh-oh! Okay, shes kicking!
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Missy: Right. I'll be there. (she leaves)
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Joey: Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Monica: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didnt cry. She wasnt angry or sad. (Sits down, slightly disgusted.)
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Rachel: Yeah, oh wait! (She goes for another one.)
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious (which, being Joey, he mispronounces "amonious"). (pause) That's not how she used it...?
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detectors wail.]
(She heads for the kitchen door and just after she goes through the door )
(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Whos she?
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
ROSS: Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Rachel: Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Janine: Well yknow, hes blah, shes justshes very loud for such a small person.
Rachel: What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Monica: Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, (Checks watch) she should be here by now.
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?