words in movies
(She picks up the box and the bottom falls out, spilling all of the pictures onto Monica's neat little piles.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
(She brings him over to Chandler.)
(She shakes her head no.)
Katie: Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese?! (She hits him repeatedly as she says that.)
Kim: Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten.
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: Shes gone.
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Ross: Where is she?
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Phoebe: Would she?
Joey: Wouldnt she?
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
(She comes back out.)
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
(She walks into her bedroom.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Phoebe: Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Melissa: (Gasps when she notices Rachel) Oh my God! Ray-ray Green?! (Screams)
(She leaves, Chandler sighs, and falls back on his bed.)
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?