words in movies
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Phoebe: But she just came up here!
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Monica: Really! (They hug and kiss) All right? Let's forget about this going home stuff and celebrate our anniversary. (She picks up his suitcase.) Okay, this is empty.
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
(She rolls the dice, but one bounces out of the table.)
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Phoebe: Oh well, lost again. (She gets up and slowly moves away. The lurker scurries in and takes her spot, only this time Phoebe set a trap for her and catches her in the act.) That's it! You and me, outside!
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Rachel: Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Monica: Well, maybe youre rightShe made fun of my phone pen!
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: Oh (grinning, trying to hold in his impatience with her) okay.. (she takes her hand back)
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Chandler: I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.)
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
(She goes over and kisses Chandler.)
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
(She brings him over to Chandler.)
(She shakes her head no.)
Katie: Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese?! (She hits him repeatedly as she says that.)
Kim: Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten.
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Richard: Okay, she was here, but she left.
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: Shes gone.
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Ross: Where is she?
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Phoebe: Would she?
Joey: Wouldnt she?
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)