words in movies
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
(Phoebe's smile hardens as she packs the cardigan away.)
(Ursula's eyes dance as she laughs and smiles, simply glad to be back with her sister.)
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
Joey: Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something.
Nancy: She is kidding, but don't ever disagree with her again. Okay, now I'm kidding!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.]
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Joey: It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, "Where's Betsy?" Right? And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
Monica: Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
(she just walks straight into the bathroom)
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Monica: I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst!
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Chandler: Okay I promise. Ill-Ill hate it. (She enters.) Wow! You-you look hideous.
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. (she leaves)
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
PHOEBE: Hey.� I'll be right back.� I've got to go to the bathroom.� (She rises and exits.)
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Ross: Rachel!! (she enters) Wow! You, uh, you look, wow!
Joey: Now she sounded breezy.
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Luisa: (Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Travellers cheques, check!
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Monica: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
Pete: Could you leave a note? Cause Im on a lot of pain killers now, and I dont know if Ill remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
Phoebe: Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. (she leaves the room)
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down).
Frank: No, she touched mine first!
Phoebe: Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Joey: Maybe she killed him?
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)