words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebes singing, Vince is also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
PHOEBE: (singing/screaming) You're all invited to bite me!
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
Phoebe: Whos singing?
"First time I met Chandler, I thought he was gay. But here I am singing on his wedding day!"
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
Phoebe: (singing) Rosssss can!
Singer: (singing) Cause every time I see your face, I cant help but fall from grace. I know.....
Mrs. Burkart: (Singing) Come on along and listen to...
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Monica: No Chandler, you dont understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? Im yknow Im sick.
Monica: (singing) "I'm a little bit country"...
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing, with everyone else present.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Leslie is singing.]
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
[Everyone else enters and all start singing Happy Birthday.]
Chandler: I tried, but apparantly singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping.
Phoebe: (singing) I stepped in something icky.
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Joey: (entering, dancing and singing) Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! (He dances around the dinner table and exits)
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) ...emblem of the land I love. The home of....
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.)
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Joey: (singing) "Happy birthday to you!"
Leslie: Ah, yeah, umm. (singing) Home is never far away..
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
[Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Monica: (singing) 'I am Bea.'
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Phoebe: (singing)
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Ben: (singing) Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer...
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
Ross: (singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"!
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Phoebe: (singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?
Phoebe: (singing, angrily)
Phoebe: (singing)
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is singing.]
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
Phoebe: (singing) Rossss can!
Phoebe: (singing) Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!!
Leslie: (singing) My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Dont care what people say. My feets best friends, pals to the end. With them Im one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I....
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
Chandler: (enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view porn.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Waiters: (with birthday cake, singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear �
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Monica: It's just, I'm not good at singing.
Chandler: What are you singing?
Phoebe: (singing) "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas."
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
PHOEBE: (singing) Lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, as needed.