words in movies
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)
Ross: That's my sister.
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Monica: The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ross: Fine. I just need to know that youre not gonna tell your sister.
Eric: Oh my God, youre the sister!
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister?
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Chandler: I cant remember which sister.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Sister 1: (to Chandler) What cha doing?
ROSS: My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.
Ross: You slept with my sister?
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Ross: (in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Joey: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister.
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ross: Aww, Pheeb, come on isnt there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Rachel: Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway.
Monica: The second sister dies?!
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Tag: Its my sister.
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Woman at door: It's your favorite sister.
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Joey: My little sister Dina!
FRANK: Me neither. So you're like my big sister.
Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Rachel: Monica is Ross' sister.
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Amy: No, Ross' sister was really fat.
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?