words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Patron: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Chandler: Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... (grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.
Rachel: So, got any advice? Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?
Ross: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary (hands a sheet of paper to Monica). Um... here's a picture of me... (hands it to Monica)
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Ross: (pretend fishing in the living room) Ohh, Gellers got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! (Swinging the rod back and forth) Its the classic struggle between man and(swings the rod and knocks over a lamp.) Someone knocked over a lamp.
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler & Nina are locked in a passionate embrace. Someone knocks, so they hurriedly separate to stare out of the window. Chandlers boss opens the door.]
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?
Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole)
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
CHANDLER: So, uh, you met someone, huh?
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Pete: I know Im no John Bon Jovi, (Monica laughs) or someone who find attractive, Im just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently.
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Phoebe: Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didnt. Theres someone here who can explain this better than I can.
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Ross: Dad seriously! Yknow you really should see someone about that!
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?
Joey: When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Phoebe: Thank you. (To Gunther, who's standing there frozen) Okay, go! Go! Go! (He runs off.) (To Larry) Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Chandler: Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
Phoebe: Maybe there's someone else.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Monica: So you gave in and decided to call someone?
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.