words in movies
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
Joey: Okay. Im Chandler (makes a growling/gurgling sound at the end and the girls laugh.)
(He turns to go, but the sound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He returns and stares at it.)
Tag: Right there! That's my car! (Sound of a breaking car-window) Hey!!
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Monica: That cold makes you sound so great.
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Monica: Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Rachel: Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife!
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Chandler: Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means were unhappy forever. Sound good?
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
MICH: Oh, that does sound. . .Ahh.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)
PHOEBE: I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)
(Ross makes a Yeah. Right. sound.)
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Phoebe: (still mimicking a heartbeat, only faster) Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-PhoebeBurrrrr! (Mimics the sound of a cardiac monitor going off.)
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
Phoebe: I wanna hear "The Sound."
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Joey: (makes a sound like a monkey) That noise can only me one thing.
Ross: Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat.
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Makes an unintelligible taunting sound.)
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Chandler: Y'know, when you say partner it doesn't sound cop. It, it sounds gay.
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: Wow, y'know when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
(Chandler does this throat sound.)
Ross: Oh, so-so you talked to her. Did she, did she sound mad?
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
(They hear a knocking sound coming from the hallway and go to investigate.)
(Chandler does the same nasal sound to Chandler.)
Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why dont you guys do something?!
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Whitney: (outside the door) Uh, your door isnt sound proof.
(Ross tries to dismiss it by making that sound, but decides to go for it and follows Rachel.)
(Matthew mimics the sound again.)
Monica: Okay that does sound like fun.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Joey: Yeah that didnt sound like me.
Phoebe: You sound like a guy.
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.