words in movies
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Jennifer: Lisas laugh though TheresIts so infectious. Its one of those things just forget about it. Once it starts, its all gone.
<Amy gets pissed and starts cutting food on the fancy plate very harshly, you can hear the silveware scraping the fancy plate>
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
(Phoebe starts to hang up the phone, but )
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
(And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.)
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
(She starts to go upstairs.)
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]
Rachel: Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: Yeah! Right! Okay, Ill see you guys later. (starts to leave) Woo hoo!
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Melanie: Well, now we've gotta find something fun for you! (she starts kissing his chest)
(Rachel starts to laugh.)
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
(Ross starts laughing)
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
(The play starts.)
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
The Salesman: Okay, I-I get the picture. Uh, thanks, for your time. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to cry)
Paul: That was so good. (Starts crying again.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
(They start dancing and Chandler starts slipping around.)
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
(Ross starts to leave.)
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
(Rachel starts to leave.)
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)