words in movies
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
Ross: No you didnt.
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys dont know yet do they?
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Monica: You cant marry him!
Joey: Why?! Why cant she marry me?!
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Phoebe: We dont know.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Rachel: Oh wow, you didnt even try to unhook my bra!
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Ross: Huh, didnt see that coming.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Judge: That wont be necessary.
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Chandler: Why wouldnt they be happy?
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
Kim: No. No! You're doing great! Dont you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us.
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Bonnie: (to Ross) Shoot! I cant go, I have to work!
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Monica: Oh, its so beautiful. Ohh! Yknow, I-I dont know if I feel right about this.
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
Rachel: I dont know, Im sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
Joey: No! No. Dont do that, just next time make sure she really likes me.
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said hed call. Why hasnt he called?
Phoebe: Dont worry, well find you someone else.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Tall Guy: No I dont think so.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Meg: Okay now I wouldnt date you because you seem a little creepy.
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Monica: Don�t joke (?) with me, okay? I�m very, very upset right now.
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Joey: Well youre whippin so slow! Cant you do it any faster?
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Monica: What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Ticket Agent: I cant do that.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Chandler: Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be at work?
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldnt even have one!
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Chandler: Yes, but I-I uh, dont have too.
Joey: Why dont we just go on two.
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Chandler: I cant believe we live here!
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Rachel: Well, I-I dont like it.
Rachel: Why arent you home yet?!
Joey: See? Eh, wasnt that fun?
Ross: So why dont you quit?
Chandler: Oh they didnt want to come!
Joey: All right. But if you werent my best friend.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Chandler: Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Tour Guide: Oh, he wont sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, (Points to there table) and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: Wow! I cant believe I actually rolled an eight.
Monica: I dont need a tissue! Im fine-d!
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.